Our child became a bully today… and I’ll tell you how.

Last week our son came running inside crying, hardly able to catch his breath.

The older kids in the neighborhood were mocking him because he couldn’t do any tricks on his bike.

He sobbed until he was out of tears.

We tried to talk to their parents, but that did not go too well.

We told him to not play with those kids anymore.

A few days passed,

Then this happened…

A parent came to us, telling us how our son was bullying their child!

What!?!

It turned out to be true.

We could not understand.

Why would he do the same thing that hurt him so badly to another kid?

"Here is why"...

Kids process traumatic events differently than adults.

They will think over the same event again and again, trying to comprehend something that is beyond their capacity to understand.

"Why did they do that to me?"

"Why did this happen?"

"What did I do wrong?"

They continue to replay the event because… 

1. They must understand why this happened to them.

2. They so desperately want to rid themselves of this painful emotion.

If they cannot resolve these two mental dilemmas, they may recreate what happened to them, trying to find relief from their pain.

But they never have to recreate these hurtful moments if…

You have empathy talks with them.

(Although this story was not about my son, it's a real story, and one reason I teach parents about Empathy Talks!)

What are empathy talks?

Empathy talks, done correctly, do something amazing for your child.

Empathy talks help them process what was done to them without having to hurt others.

The details are in the video above.

Thanks!

Jonathan