Kids and teens with anxiety will develop habits or rituals so they can worry less.

-They will excessively wash their hands, so they don’t have to worry about getting sick.

-They will ask the same questions repeatedly, so that the answer can reassure them that everything is ok.

-They will only sit in one chair, so they don’t have to worry about sharing germs.

-They will check text messages every 2 minutes, so they can be sure they did not miss anything.

-They will demand to only go to one restaurant, so that they have no surprises at dinner.

-They will refuse to talk to anyone who is not a family member, so that they don’t have to feel the awkwardness.

-They will check that the dog came back inside, 5 times in a row, so that they don’t have to worry about Fido running away again.

These rituals can range from inconvenient to extremely disruptive for the family.

Because the ritual brings the child temporary relief to their overwhelming experience of worry, they are likely to demand that their family participate, or at least allow the ritual to continue no matter how disruptive it is.

These habits and rituals do help calm worry in the moment; however, they make the anxiety worse the next time.

Many parents want to help their child relieve anxiety, and they really do not want to experience the meltdown that will occur if they
don’t.

Unfortunately, enabling a child to maintain their rituals will only increase their anxiety.